Being a part of the ‘Mum World’ can be a lovely place to be, especially when it is full of breakfast dates, coffee and cake…but there is always a few issues that can cause disagreements between mum pals. Because are all different types of parents , different humans, but infact as long as we are happy with what we are doing and our babies are happy, does it really matter what everyone else thinks?
But sometimes when you are so sleep deprived and your are second guessing every single decision you make, you can lose sight of this and then you feel like you are being judged for the way you are bringing up your baby!
Feeding – Boob vs Bottle
This really got to me in the early days of having Grayson and also when i was pregnant! We all know that it DOES NOT matter how we choose to feed our baby, but because feeding them is such a massive thing (obv cause they cant do it themselves) we find ourselves convinced that the way we have chosen is the right way. Which obviously we are! For us! If you are still breastfeeding but your mum crowed has moved on to bottles you can feel isolated, especially when they seem to have it all together and have their life back..well as much back as possible…but then if you are bottle feeding and your crowd is all wapping out the boobs you can feel guilty?! Its weird how we can feel bad no matter what we pick because you always have someone looking and passing comment…it seems no matter what you do someone isnt happy! But FUCK them! You whapp those bobs out you get those bottles out, you do you and feed our baby! When they are feeding less and wanting proper food all this will seem irrelevant! Hang in there!
Some people choose to start this process earlier than advised (six months) some choose to follow suggested guidelines and wait. Some spoon feed, others choose to do BLW (Baby Led Weaning), some mums buy pouches and jars, others work so hard in the kitchen preparing meals from scratch. Some of us just fucking wing in!! Alt say that if you do BLW then you have a less fussy eater further down the line, but actual scientific research shows that your method of weaning be it spoon or BLW has very little bearing on your kids future eating habits, so what works best for you and your family you go with! Never mind Sharon from the baby group who claims to stand for 3 hours a day in the kitchen making every single baby meal! I bet she has a few jars stashed away!!
Some mums swear by co-sleeping, and as long as it is done safely and within guidelines can be a great way to get more sleep, especially in the early weeks when you cant tel your own arse from elbow and just need a few hours of shut eye! Others choose to move their baby in to their own room sooner than 6 months, we did this because Grayson was sleeping all night from an early age and we found having him in the room with us was only disturbing him. So at 13 weeks he went in to his own room, we all feel this has worked best for us and we all feel more rested. So surely no matter what you do, it should only concern those involved…right?
Crying It Out
‘I could NEVER leave my baby to cry’
while some mums heart strings get pulled from a slight whinge from their baby others use controlled crying when they are at the end of their tether and need to get some routine in their lives. Every single mum has an opinion on this! I asked about it on Instagram the other week and my inbox exploded with a multitude of opinions! This works for some and not for others, but as we all know already, all babies are different and so are mums!!
Some of us have dedicated our Instagrams to our kids, showing them off and putting up picture after picture! Others, well you are lucky to get a glimpse of the kid once in a blue moon….i have a few friends from school i didnt even know had a baby!! Others are kind of inbetween, sticking up the odd picture here and there because well, folk actually like it! Whatever you do….it doesnt bloody matter!! But you get grief no matter what you do! Everyone has their own social media rules!
This one can cause drama! Well ive found it can anyway! Some mums are determined to get in to a routine so they can structure their day and know when they are coming and going! Others choose to wing it! We have had Grayson in a routine since he was 6 weeks old! And its been fab, others i know have a 7 month old and they still just wing it and get on with it. I cant do that i need to know when he is going to want a feed, when he is going to have a nap so i can plan my day! This has worked well for us! Now dont get me wrong i let G sleep in his buggy if we are out and he sleeps in his cot if we are at home, so i am pretty laid back but he eats between certain times and he naps at certain times and has a night time routine! But thats just me!But whatever kind of mum you are is totally fine! I have a few mates who do the same as me so i know i always have someone to chat to when your ‘routine’ is going to shit! And i know ill get a text back at a certain time!!
These are just a few things ive found have caused ‘upset’ between mum friends! What other ones have you come across? Do you and your mum friends clash over anything because you are both so different?