So its Sunday evening 6.30 and i am in bed already writing this post….Wow crazy life!!
Dont get me wrong im super happy to be in my bed watching what i want on the TV in the covers with a nice hot cuppa tea!! BLISS!! I feel like when i had Grayson, i changed! I went from a silly wee lassie to a woman…? If that makes any sense at all!!
I’ve been using Grayson as a crutch. If i was asked to stay away from home for the night, more often than not i didn’t want to because, yeah waking up in your own bed is amazing but i also didn’t want to leave Grayson. I guess this is a whole new mum thing too though right? And i know if i stayed away from home, i wouldn’t sleep properly without my family around me. I would lay awake and think. I’ve ducked out of nights out because i prefer the comfort of my couch with my jogging bottoms on and shit TV. When meeting friends for drinks im worried that i will have nothing to offer in the way of conversation apart from baby chat and i would sit there clock watching counting down the minutes till it was acceptable to leave. I cant be the only one….?
Now dont get me wrong before G i was a total party animal. Out most weekends getting drunk, i had no shame in putting daft snapchats up or pictures of me hungover looking like a total tramp. I had loads of chat to offer aswell, i can chat for Scotland lol!! But since becoming a mum i feel like ive lost a bit of myself…Retreating in to shell in social situations. Not sure what to wear, will i look like a bad mum if im out again! Will i be invited out again if my chat is shit. I could sit and chat your ear off about weaning and Mickey Mouse Club House! You know if you are in to that…?
So when my parents agreed to take Grayson for the night i knew this would be the best thing for me. For us. Me and John haven’t spent a nice relaxing evening together in i dont know how long (13 months, we worked it out). I have never been away from Grayson in the whole 4 months hes been with us. So when we suggested birthday dinner and drinks and my parents were happy to take Grayson then i knew that if i didnt do it now i never would leave him!! Dont get me wrong i got updates on him and i was thankful and i knew he was gonna be spoiled by granny and pupa so i had nothing to worry about. Me and John drank cocktails, had a nice hot meal and chatted about stuff that wasn’t baby related!! We laughed liked we used to and i started to feel like i was getting a bit of me back!!
Now i have done this one night out…i think that when it comes to being asked to go out again, yeah dont get me wrong i might be a little hesitant, hes still my tiny little baby boy and i missed him like mad and he was only gone less than 24 hours, but ill be more up for the next night out and ill relax a little more and i think ill be able to offer alot more than baby talk now ive done the test run with John!
Cause well i do have alot to offer. And so do you. Being a mum doesnt mean that we arent allowed a night out with friends or our other half and that we cant stumble through the door at 3am….DO NOT DO THIS ITS NOT WORTH THE NEXT 24 HOURS (just saying). Before i had Grayson i loved a night out, i wanted to travel all over the world, loved spending time with friends and i felt like i had something to offer. But for the past year or so that feeling has been squashed. Tightly contained in little Grays hand. But slowly i can feel it coming back and its all because i got to have some me time.Some us time. So dont feel bad, its all about the baby steps, but trust me its worth it!!